I heard the other day that Alex Rodriguez came out and admitted to the world that he has chickpea-sized testicles. That takes a lot of courage. Thanks a lot for that, A-Rod. I think what would be nice to see in the news is more cheats and crooks getting paid lots of money. It would be nice to see them never ever perform well in the post-season, too.
My friend Andrew was talking about Superman the other day. He made a pretty good point. He said that Superman can fly, and be bulletproof and shoot lasers and make decisions. Lex Luthor, on the other hand, can't do most of those things. Lex Luthor is Superman's nemesis. He can't even run very fast on account of being a fat-ass. He is just a normal human being who is really greedy and good at business. For some reason he hates Superman, and they fight a lot, and sometimes Lex Luthor almost wins. He almost beats a bulletproof super-good-looking man that can fly and shoot lasers. It's funny because there is no such thing as Superman, but there are literally thousands of Lex Luthors. Thousands of normal, overweight guys who are greedy and good at business.
When I say it's funny, I mean it's funny in the way a good plane crash is funny. But not one of those cartoon planes. I mean a funny, real plane that's trying to land, but someone puts a stupid mime on the runway. And the mime is stuck in a stupid invisible box and he's trying really hard to get out, so he can feed his family.