Thursday, April 30, 2009

I need a lover that won't drive Steve crazy

You ever notice how the radio in my hometown in Massachusetts only gets about three stations? I have noticed. Lots of people have noticed. I'm heading back for another summer and we listen to the radio A LOT. While we're maintaining, when it's leisure time, in and around the shop and when Uncle Vito calls us to prayer. All of these times are suitable for fm radio. Like I said though there are only three stations. One of the stations is terrible, the other one is garbage. The last station is classic rock. This station plays nothing but hits. The way you can tell they're hits is because they've been on the radio since they were released 30 to 50 years ago. Every day, in every way, you are guaranteed a steady stream of classic rocks that you still remember from yesterday, and which you can predict well past tomorrow.
My good friend Derrick Waldo saw this repetition and made a fun game. He turns on his radio, and when he sings along he replaces "me" with "Steve". Holy crap! Waldo you have beaten new life into dead icons! The Beatles suddenly tell you that she's in love with Steve, but I feel fine. What is that about!? Who is this guy? I want you... to want Steve. I would love for you to love Steve. You must have me confused with someone else. Oh really? Is that so? You don't know Steve but I'm your brother. Take that to the streets. Hell, go ahead and take it to the bank. Don't walk, don't run, fuckin' FLY. Like an eagle. Let your spirit carry Steve.
All of a sudden, Boston is in a whole new light. You must understand this; I've watched you for so long that I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong. If we just get together, I want to make you see. I'm dreaming of your sweet love tonight, come on and let it be. Let Steve take you home tonight.
Is this frightening you? Are you afraid? Have you fled from your radio dial? Baby, come back. You can blame it all on Steve. I was wrong, and I just can't live without you. The possibilities are effin' staggering, and most of the time it works. Don't believe me? Go ahead and try, go ahead and take Steve on. (take! on! Steve!) I'llll beeeee goooooone/ innnnnn-uUUUHHH day or twooOOOOOOoooo