Monday, January 12, 2009

Goddam Popular Science again

Every goddam month, every goddam cover. Some variation of the question " this the future of personal flight?" next to a picture of some kicked-out-of-the-comic book-convention me-tard wearing a photoshopped jetpack/jetcopter/rocket-zeppelin piece of HOOEY. The future of personal flight? Popular Science, you have been asking this same question for DECADES. Read your own goddam magazine. The future is now, and no one is personally able to fly (also, in the future future, jetpacks still won't work for shit. And useful technology still won't be popular).

On the cover of the February 2009 edition is Yves Rossy, a man destined to not usher in the future of personal flight. He is shown wearing his homemade, eight foot wide, 130 pound personal flying wing. He has spent enough "to buy a very nice sports car every year" for the past decade of research and development. I am pretty goddam sure that he doesn't read Popular Science.

Inside the article you can read about his flying machine. Depending on whether you believe the photo caption on page 40, or the article text just beneath it (the future of personal flight is poorly cross-referenced), it carries either 3.5 or 7 gallons of fuel. With full tanks, it can carry a single human asshole 22 miles(!), giving it a fuel economy somewhere between a Ford Excursion with flat tires and a Hess station that is on fire. America is reading this article and thinking, "Finally, someone who understands my problems!".

There is, however, one caveat; you need to start your trip from a goddam PLANE. Seriously. This month's installment of personal flight is only possible if you start "flying" out of a Cessna at 6,600 feet. That's like calling a sidecar the future of personal motorcycling. And then putting it on the cover. And then pretending it's science. Every. Goddam. Month.


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